NOW, MY DISTASTE for the Halo franchise is well known, but I think from my two previous reviews (Halo 2 being fairly positive) that I have proven my objectivity. Reviews are based on opinion however, and I feel no compunction to be diplomatic about my views on any matter. I mean, the whole purpose behind this website is to avoid the usual, finance based bias we have become so familiar with. But at the same time, I strive to balance out my personal fondness or distaste for the games I review to offer a more informed and structured dissection of whichever piece of digital goodness/foulness my brain is munching upon at the time.

And this brings us to the latest installment in the core Halo storyline. There are now, of course, at least two derivatives which have been produced to expand upon the setting (Halo ODST actually takes place between chapters 2 and 3 and, I believe covers the search for the Chief whilst he does whatever it is he did aboard that Covenant warship we see burning through the sky in Halo 3’s opening cinematic. Or was that the chief…or both of them, I think it was the ship and he came shooting off from it partway down, but I’ve been to sleep since then, and this parenthesis rant is growing stupidly large so, y’know, it takes place between them and leave it at that) with a third, Halo Reach, which we don’t know a great deal about as yet.

My initial impression of Halo 3 is that it was a highly polished, slick and extremely stylised game. A feeling that stuck with me the entire time. Unfortunately, I found almost nothing in the way of real substance to expand on this feeling as I progressed through the nine, decidedly short and, even on Legendary, primarily extremely unchallenging, levels. I know some people are pleased by a game that you can run through in only a few hours (about ten in total for the whole game on Legendary, no more than six on Normal), I, on the other hand, decidedly do not. There’s a line between a short and intense experience, and too short which Halo 3 leaped over at intense velocity.

The various cinematics and scripting events that unfolded offered little but an annoyance that they were dragging on so long. And the so-called plot twists just seemed pointless and rather daft. It seems to me that either they had a new writing department for this game considering how much they ran roughshod over the plot developments from Halo 2, or they were all on crack and thought that having a turtle eat beans for half an hour was a good idea. Either way, those things which actually made the second game work for me in a way I hadn’t anticipated, just vanished and were replaced with some random crap that left me with a serious…

..feeling.

Whilst I felt that the first game was generic and borrowed, or even out and out stole, from other games and films that had come before. And the second, whilst still pretty standard in gameplay, had some decent scripting. The third was pretty much just a bunch of fan appeasement as far as I could tell. Massive, intense battles, hoardes of enemies that you have to murder to a man to progress. I suppose I can see the appeal in some senses, driving through a cannon with a small fleet of Scorpions and Warthogs was fun, but a few well aimed shots and there was no opposition to speak of. And taking down to Scarab at a time single handed was kind of cool. But, dude, I did it single-handed. On Legendary! If the rest of the Human armed forces really is that sodding useless, and really couldn’t do anything at all without the Chief there, then they should have been wiped out in a matter of days.

But, of course, it’s not the single player that sold the game to seventeen million people. It’s the online experience which has brought people in their droves. And, for once, I actually spent some time trying this out. Mostly at the request of a very good friend of mine who spent several hours trouncing me repeatedly. Again, though, there is little for me to recommend with the online either. The ability to customise your avatar, either a Spartan or an Elite (the Arbiter) with extra items unlockable as you progress adds a little to raise it above a generic online shooter. But not by much. And certainly nothing that hasn’t been done before, and better. Rainbow Six Vegas had a great customisation to it. Halo 3 doesn’t.

Basically, Halo 3 is an enigma to me. I can’t understand how something that screwed up in so many ways can be so damned popular. I suspect it may have a great deal to do with the billion pound advertising campaign and the populace at large being so easily lead.

Graphics: 8.5/10
Gameplay: 6/10
Audio/Music: 6/10
Plot/Scripting: 5/10
Overall: 5/10

Halo 3 also earns a Special Award for being such a successful bluff.

WTF?!?ness : 9.5/10

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I was rather critical of the first chapter, far more so than I really intended to be. And whilst I still feel my opinions were justified and correct from my perspective (opinion is a personal thing after all) I still made a genuine effort to offer a more impartial review. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t find anything at all about Halo that appealed to me. But my views on the first game are already documented and available of this very website for all to see so I don’t need to go over them again. But it’s important that I add perspective because the paragraphs to follow may come as a surprise to many.

Halo 2 improved immensely over the original both technically and atmospherically. The scripting was significantly better, with the characters being fleshed out far more than in the predecessor. Most notably the Chief himself, who was, not to put too fine a point on it, a right arrogant…so and so. He develops a more approachable and ultimately more compelling personality in his second appearance, moving away from the cheesy, gung ho “I’m going to save the galaxy” bs. He gains more of a grounded perspective, making him seem more likeable and less of a douchebag.

The plot, also, had a better flow to it, though a lot of that was ruined when the ending became, more or less, a repeat of the original game. Only the locations changed, and the introduction of a new playable character, the Covenant Arbuter, offering a slightly different perspective. I still wouldn’t go so far as to say I enjoyed the game, but I can at least say that I didn’t out and out hate it either. I’ve never been a particular fan of First Person Shooters at the best of times, and Halo 2 did nothing to draw me in and leave me with anything more than a so-so impression. And, again, I didn’t bother with the online play because that also has never appealed to me. I know that the online matches are a large part of the appeal for many gamers, but I’ve always been more interested in the main game so my impressions are always going to be based from that first.

It didn’t help that I was running a built for Vista game on XP Home either. I needed a number of home built and edited files to allow the game to even run on my rig, and faced a number of problems along the way from a technological stand point. Though this, of course, has nothing to do with the game itself, and could have been avoided by running the game under the correct OS, it didn’t exactly endear me towards it when I had to use the Task manager to close it down because it had frozen for the umpteenth time. Still, I do accept that that was my own fault and should be taken not as an attack on the game, but as a heads up to those who, like myself, still use XP and wish to play the PC version of the game.

Basically, Halo 2 is a lot like the first and will likely always divide the gaming world. Some will love it, others will hate it. Me? I was wholly under enthused and can say only that it wasn’t really bad, but wasn’t really very good either. As always, it would be best to decide for yourself. Just don’t expect to see me running through it again any time soon. Though it does offer 1000 achievement points which are attainable without needing a subscription to Live for online so…maybe.

Graphics: 8/10
Gameplay: 7/10
Audio/Music: 7.5/10
Plot/Scripting: 8/10
Overall: 7.5/10

P.S : WTF?!? Cortana went Emo. Hmm…

Emoness : 9.5/10

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OVER THE CENTURIES of Human history, there have been issues that have divided us. Matters of such great importance that even the possibility of meeting someone with an opinion different than your own will cause anything and everything to grind to a complete halt until the argument can be resolved. And just when you think you have considered every possible permutation, every facet and diverse angle, along comes someone else that can say “yes! But what if?”

Questions such as which came first, the chicken or the egg? Do aliens exist? Empire or Jedi? (I say neither personally. A new hope is the best by far). But none have divided so many people so rapidly, as the choice between Halo and Half-Life. Having now taken the time to play through both of them, I find myself in the unenviable position of putting forward my own opinions on the matter. Though, as this is a review for Halo, the Half-Life references will cease here. We’ve had enough of the endless back and forth bickering between those two factions thank you very much.

So this brings us to the nitty gritty. Is Halo really any good?

Sadly, my opinion is that it is nothing more than mediocre. Whilst I can see why some people would like the game, especially if it was their first foray into the FPS genre, I personally found very little to keep me entertained. The choice of weaponry available is almost criminally tiny and I found the aiming reticules to be, well, odd to say the least. And speaking of weapons, I find it highly dubious that the Chief somehow managed to procure an assault rifle from…somewhere during the few seconds between the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next. Of course, picking up a new one whilst taking a ride on a Pelican is one thing, but to just…acquire one out in the middle of a swamp is…makes you wonder where he gets them from.

Of course, that’s only a minor issue. But it’s the kind of thing that actually rather bugs me simple because it’s so minor. After all, surely being such a simple issue it should have been the matter of only a couple of seconds to implement. It’s like how on other games (no names) you have to fiddle with your weapons and what not to get it back to what you had when you last played the game rather than the necessary information being stored as part of your save game.

Halo, does, however, have some points in its favour. The mythology behind it all is rich and intruiging, and the fact that it is actually the “noble” Humans being portrayed as the savage, bigotted destroyers was a nice touch. After all, Halo is a holy place for the Covenant, the fact that it also happens to be a weapon designed to wipe out all organic life in existence had nothing to do with them. Of course, when it comes to a choice between destroying a holy site and genocide, the Chief probably made the right choice. But that doesn’t make his motivation any less suspect.

Long story short, I was far from impressed with Halo, and really cannot fathom why some people are so rabidly profuse about how great it is. The level design was uninspired, the scripting was awful (especially Cortana’s incessant bitching) and the game was just too damned easy. Plus, well, it has to be said, but if I wanted to play Half-Life again then I’d just play Half-Life. So there’s one more reference, so sue me.

Graphics: 6/10
Gameplay: 5/10
Audio/Music: 7/10
Plot/Scripting: 5/10
Overall: 5.5/10

Final note : This game does, however, earn the Bobfish Almighty award for being the best bluffer of the recent gaming years

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