2010
N-emo May Cry 4
By: The Voice Losing Bobfish Category: DMC4, Devil May Cry, PC
2010
WAR-all of the time, in the ashes of a New York skyline-HEAD
By: L-kun the Almighty Bobfish Category: Crysis, PC, WARHEAD
I’M BRITISH YOU MUPPET!
And I am as well actually, just like our boy Syke. Well, okay, he’s a dirty, louse Cockney, I’m a good old Northern lad, but the important thing is that neither of us is a Yank. So you tell ‘em Sykes (see attached video for context -ed). And this brings us to the crux of the matter. This review was a very long time in the coming. I swear to all that is made of peanuts, I must have watched that sodding cinematic over three hundred times, and it kept on bloody freezing at the worst possible moment. The bit with General Lee. It became so bad, actually, that I uninstalled the game for four months and swore I would never play it ever again. Then I bought myself a swishdy new HD 2900XT (the 1gb model no less) and my vitriol faded. Yeah, okay, I know it isn’t the bee’s knees of all graphics cards EVER! But it is one hell of a lot better than my previous card.
Anyway, enough of my self agrandisement, it’s irrelevant to the current situation beyond the fact that it allowed me to finally record that Gods damned video. Which brings us to the meat and two veg. Is the game any good? We already know Crysis has teh graffix, but does this offering do anything with them? Is it just more of the same, or does it push the envelope? Well, let’s talk about the graphics then. Everyone else seems to fixate on that with Crysis, so why not? And let me tell you, the Cry Engine has seen no small amount of tweaking. Most notable in the fact that full acceleration is now available even in DX9. No more greyed out “Very High” settings for those of us staying with XP. Nice touch. Though your system will take a pretty hefty hit from maxing out like that all the same.
But who cares about the pretty shinyness? Well, okay, quite a lot of people. Even Yahtzee commented on how mind blowing the visuals are in his review of the first game. But he and I agree, it’s the story which really grabs us. And this is something WARHEAD also has. On the surface, it seems like something of a cop out, just an excuse to make some more money out of the shiny shiny. Let’s go back, and retell the story from Psycho’s point of view. He was a well liked character, so people will be happy to play through everything again from his perspective right? Yeah, probably right as well. But do you remember that container that Syke’s brought on board the carrier at the end of the game? No? Well go and play it then, really *shakes head* anyway. The point is, whilst Nomad was being all grr and bitchslapping some Omlins, Psycho wasn’t just resting on his laurels. He actually did a fair bit of work on his own. And this is where WARHEAD comes in.
It becomes obvious rather quickly that this was, at the very least, planned for ahead of time. Perhaps even written alongside the main story. You know when you watch a film, and the people in the background do a load of stuff off screen, and you’re like “I wonder what actually went on with them?”. Well, this is your chance to actually find out exactly what Psycho was doing. And he did quite a lot as it turns out. Meaning that this isn’t just a six hour meander through familiar places, but a full blown game all of its own. A lot of new locations, some new gadgets, even new vehicles. And a bunch of new characters that Nomad knew nothing about. As well as a few little snippets that add some quite interesting context to the developing story.
I could go on a lot more, but frankly, it’s best you play for yourself. Fans of shooters, the first game, and well written conspiracy theory type stuff will all find something for them in this game, as will a large number of other people. It’s very much a case of more of the same, but with it’s own flavour, so to speak. And yes, it has a lot more to offer than just the stunning visuals. Including an amusing little sidenote down in the bottom right corner of your screen. Yes, that’s right, Sykes Mod ^^
Graphics: 9.5/10
Gameplay: 9/10
Audio/Music: 9/10
Plot/Scripting: 9.5/10
Overall: 9.5/10
2010
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeews
By: The Almighty Bobfish Category: Arses, Games, PC
So, my new vid-card arrived and I was able to solve the PSU (Power Supply Unit) problem. That being that my current PSU is not capable of powering the new card. However, the Reaper recently purchased a new rig and found the Motherboard to be faulty, meaning he has a whole load of components doing bugger all. So, since he won’t need it immediately, I’m going to take his PSU and replace it at a future date once he sets his rig up fully. Same principal as a buy now pay later. And I am very, very grateful to him for it. I tip my hat to you good sir. Also, we now have a group of Fakebook, so please do come and follow us right here; and we will give you free cake.
Mm, cake
2010
The cake is NOT a lie
By: L, The Almighty Bobfish Category: Other, PC
Every once in a while there comes along a game that is a true joy to play. Relying on nothing more than the strength of its own design. Weighed down by neither epic themes, heart stopping action or deep emotional connection to character. Games like Bejewled, or Minesweeper, or good old Solitaire. But in this age of intense, gut wrenching, sociopolitical commentary, those games are few and far between. Sure, we have a whole slew of games aimed at the so called casual market, especially notable on the Nintendo platforms. Brain Training, the Imagine series, PAIN! on the PSN, A Kingdom for Keflings on the X-Box Arcade. And they are all great, simple games. They focus heavily on that pick up and play factor, whilst still having enough substance to make the time spent playing them to feel like an investment.
But then, sometimes, along comes a game like Portal.
On the surface, this is nothing more than exactly what it was originally intended to be. It’s a tech demo for an ultimately unused Half-Life 2 weapon. Though weapon is a bit of a misnomer. The portal gun, for lack of a better name, can be used as a weapon after a fashion, by making holes for people to fall through, or boxes and other objects to fall on their heads, but those are lateral uses and not what it is ostensibly intended to be used for. But hey, call it a weapon, I’ve used it to dispatch enough gun turrets (which are so adorable ^^, I so totally want one as a pet) for me to let that one slide. But anyway, the point is, that’s all that Portal really is. A series of test chambers that will stretch your ingenuity. And believe me, they really do. It’s such a simple concept, but play the game and you will rapidly see just how versatile a concept it really is. It’s a game breaker, even within it’s own game.
It’s getting a little long in the tooth now for some people, the Source engine in particular is showing it’s age graphically. Things have moved on a fair bit since the Orange box first hit, but it still stands the test of time. And the tentatively confirmed Portal 2 looks poised to be a runaway hit. Sometimes, all that hype you hear, it isn’t just hype. Some things can never live up to their hype, and sometimes, just sometimes, the hype can never live up to the reality. And Portal falls into the latter. I could go on for hours about it, but there really is no need. The game, if it can be called that, really does speak for itself. And now that Steam have made it available for free throughout this May (2010) for all Steam users (Steam accounts also being free) I cannot recommend to you strongly enough. If you have not yet had opportunity to play it, do it now. I mean seriously, right now. Stop reading this and go download it. I’ll still be here when you come back. It’s all of four megabytes. Go on I tell you, shoo. What are you still doing here?
Well, it’s about time. Now, whilst you are doing that I’m going to sing a little song.
I am the very model of a modern Major General
I have information, vegetable animal and mineral
I know the Kings of Eng…
Ahh, you’re back. I told you it wouldn’t take long. Now, take just a moment to read the scores and then go and play it. I’m sure you can put aside a few hours. Sure, it’s a fairly short game. The main chunk of it can be done in around three to five hours, and that’s if you’re taking your time. But there are a number of extra maps now available, and a nifty little time trial mode that gives it a rather significant replay value. And, dude, good news, the cake isn’t a lie after all 
Graphics: 8/10
Gameplay: 9.5/10
Audio/Music: 9.5/10
Plot/Scripting: 9/10
Overall: 9.5/1o
2009
So what’s the big Crysis?
By: The Almightyly Impressed (and soon to be visited by the Jedireaper) Bobfish Category: Crysis, PC
GODS WHERE DO I even begin?
Crysis is one of those games that comes around sometimes. It gains masses of attention from both sides of the fence and leaves you wondering who to trust. Is it really that good? Can you judge a game entirely by it’s visuals (which are utterly amazing btw)? Is it all about the plot? Is it the game-play mechanics? Perhaps the enemy AI? Or the level design? Or could it be most important who has developed it and how much effort was put in?
Long story short , I honestly don’t care. I loved the game and I give my strongest recommendations for playing it. However, be warned. Though the listed specs are surprisingly low, they’re also massively inaccurate. Running even at recommended levels you will find yourself struggling with anything more than even low end settings. It’s a massive, swirling abyss of system drain that leaves you with a sense of having being violated in a most invasive, but nourishing and satisfying way. Much like a rather infamous moment at the end of a certain, pie oriented, teen comedy.
However, let it be said, Crysis is still some way from being the perfect game. It has a lot of strengths, but a few weaknesses as well. Some of which are elementary, though forgivable considering how relatively new Crytek are to the annals of video-game legend. Mark my words, the Cry Engine, if not Crytek as a whole, will be firmly entrenched in our memories for many years to come. Especially with the upcoming Cry3. It’s performance and visuals are, in my opinion, less pronounced than it’s first iteration, but considering it runs as efficiently on the two high definition consoles as well as the PC, and is only a little lower quality (High as opposed to Very High) this is something that could well be the next major breakthrough. But that is something to be decided by the release of Crysis 2, which is possibly due even as early as the middle of next year. Just remember to take that with a very large pinch of salt, because I will not lie to you, at this point, that release date is nothing more than fanciful speculation.
Anyway, to Crysis strengths I will list, of course, the visuals. I was only able to run on High with my rig, Very High requires DX10 or above which is not available to XP based operating systems. Though considering I was running at an average frame rate of 15, perhaps I should be glad of that. It removed the temptation to “crank it all the way up to 11” and fry my motherboard. I’ve done that in the past, and it’s not a pretty site I can assure you. But yes, the visuals are very, very good. Two years on and they’re still considered the man to beat. For a very good reason. They really are that good. I mean, just see for yourself.
But visuals alone are not enough to make a great game. All of those things listed above, well, to be honest, I think it needs all of them. Or rather, to be a great game it needs a strong showing from each. The plot, as it is, is a fairly straight forward sci-fi yarn. A quiet little island in the Phillipines has suddenly come under scrutiny by the North Korean Peoples Army, the KPA. As well as a team of American scientists (one of whom is voice by Claudia Black of Farscape fame) who are now being held hostage by the commanding officer, General Kyong. And this is where our intrepid (that means fearless by the way) band of heroes come into the mix. It is your job, along with your CO (Commanding Officer) Prophet, your NCO (None Commissioned Officer) Sergeant Psycho (a good old British lad) and two other lesser plebs who’s names I forget, to find the hostages and liberate them from their captivity.
But lo and behold, it isn’t that straightforward. Seems that, a few million years ago some Omlins (aliens, that’s my daughters word for aliens) crash landed on that very same island and have been sat in a dormant state, with their bio-organic technology, just waiting for a large enough energy source to wake them up again. From there, it doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence now does it? It’s far from an original idea, and it’s been done extremely well already. So it’s understandable if you’re somewhat dubious about how it all pans out. Fortunately, it pans out very well. And although the Omlins are revealed early on in the game, they only take a major role in events towards the very end. At least insofar as being the antagonist is concerned.
Crysis also features another, very nice, little addition which I appreciated immensely. On the highest difficulty, Delta, your usual aiming reticule is absent, meaning you have to judge your shots with more skill, or leave yourself vulnerable by bringing the sighting lenses to your eye and limiting your field of view. It serves as a very firm reminder that the game is designed far more around a black ops approach than rushing in guns blazing. Though your top secret nanosuit is well equipped to offer you a strong backing either way you go. With it’s Maximum Armour which soaks up gunfire extremely well, Maximum Strength which allows you to jump onto buildings, Maximum Speed which is far more useful for getting away than it may first seem, and Cloaking capabilities. I opted for the blending with nature and cloaking into the trees approach, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
You will also find yourself fiddling with your weapons as you progress and find new components such as a Sniping Scope, grenade launcher and the utterly invaluable laser sight. The latter, of course, makes you easier to spot by enemies, but gives you a much clearer idea of where your bullets are going to land. As well as this there are several different vehicles that you will have access too, many of them with a mounted light machine gun which tears through enemies, trees, and even most buildings with equal effect. Not to mention how much faster they make travelling. Though, again, it’s offset somewhat by how much more noticeable you are.
The AI is also solid, and not just the enemies either. There are several sections, especially later in the game, where you will be joined by the USMC. They’re far more effective in assisting you than in most games of this type. Though if there are more than about six or seven people around at a time their IQ seems to drop sharply, as demonstrated in my accompanying video. You’ll know what I mean when you see it. Still, inspite of this, they can give you a good challenge, and will often find you in the bushes even when cloaked because they’ve seen leaves moving, or your laser sight, or you just came too close.
So yes, to put it simply, Crysis is an amazing game. Extremely well crafted, solid, though system intensive, and stable. I look forward to more from Crytek in the years to come, and am already making some progress into Crysis WARHEAD, which seems to be at least as good so far.
Graphics: 9.5/10 (shocking huh?)
Gameplay: 9/10
Audio/Music: 9/10
Plot/Scripting: 8/10
Overall: 9/10
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