“What Kind of Explosive Garbage is this!!”



Wow, after playing the main game for only thirteen seconds I had
already decided to return the game to get Bad Company instead, and boy
I am so glad I did.



Firstly I want to get one thing straight; I am a fan of this first
Mercenaries on the PS2. It was one of the best games I had ever
played, and amazed me to no-end. Even the initial demo was really
cool, and you could blow up EVERYTHING, well almost. All the military
vehicals, helicopters, tanks and weapons were a joy to play with in
that ‘Playground of Destruction!’ and you could see elements of Star
War Battlefront within the gameplay, and certainly it was used by
pandemic as part of the coding for the game. This made the game a lot
of fun. Though that goes without saying that the game had faults. I
mean what game doesn’t have mistakes, unfinished levels, and wierd
glitches (such as being catapaulted across the make-up of Korea in a
helcopter after I tried to carry a fuel truck on the winch, strange)
though all games have their short-comings; the GTA series has always
had strange gltches, and wierd happenings (planes falling out of the
sky) But now…



…what we have here is an utter load of tripe and a classic case of
Electronic Arts producing games because they know that the fan-base
will snap it up. Such as the poor Goldeneye: Rogue Agent game. (EA,
obviously, still have a lot to learn about fan pleasing, over money
squandering)



Mercenaries had changed production companies early on in its initial
development and was purchased from Lucas Arts by EA, and I was
thinking that maybe it would be another turn-around title for the
gaming giant; much like Bad Company, Dead Space, and Fifa have done in
2008. But no… the sad news is; the game that, and apart from GTA IV,
was one of the games I was most looking forward to playing, was a huge
let-down.



Firstly lets talk about graphics, or lack of it. I mean the game was
released on both x-Box 360 and PS3, yes I have played both versions,
and this is the kind of graphical quality on a game that I might have
come to expect from a regular PS2, or even back in 2006 on the next
gen consoles during its early days. Not in 2008. I mean you have to
see this crap to believe it. All I can say kid, is don’t believe in
these screen shots, they misslead. The main character models are the
only things that seem to be HD, shiny, and anything close to good
rendering.



The gameplay is okay, if a little shabby. The control system for the
first Mercenaries was perfect, and my motto is don’t fix something
that ain’t broke (something Activision seems to know well with its COD
series, and Crytek UK, formally known as Free Radical Design, the
developers of the TimeSplitters series of First Person Shooters, and
the hugely under appreciated Haze.) Anyway the controls have been
revamped, but not in a good way. Natrualistic controls seem to have
been up-rooted in favor of an overly complex mess of ‘which button
throws a grenade?!’, and ‘how the hell do you change to the other
weapon I’m carrying?!’. Disappointing. And then there is the in-game
PDA, and the rest of the interfacing with the game world. It gives me
a headache just thinkng about it. EA have screwed up the PDA into this
big Logo of the game, I mean why be so subtle; they may as well paste
the EA symbol im BIG RED LETTERS onto the in game buildings, cars, &
tanks. Infact there of no-sign within this load of rush work, of the
far superior game that this one sequals. To be totally honest, the
controls suck.



Though I will admit that the open ended gameplay, and the ability to
go anywhere is probably this games only redeeming feature (and its
bargain-bin price) but with so many games that follow the same
formula; GTA being the best example, this is nothing more than a
tiresome clone. A rip off, a clone of a game that needed no
improvements, yet Pandemic were only so happy, under EA’s guidance, to
add and distort what was initially looking like a promising game that
had three years of development time, yet it looks like something
thrown together at the last minute. What gives? However something
slightly suprising is the sound engine.



The sound design, considering the rest of the games’ quality is
something; by which I mean that this is your average sound design of a
game that just can’t cut it standing next to the likes of the previous
Mercenaries, or Bad Company, and not even close to standing with GTA.
Amoung all the wrong turns and short cuts it a sound sound engine
(forgive the pun) it does, like Ronseal, exactly what it says on the
tin. In other words… its fine. Nothing wrong with it, nor anything
especially interesting.



However what got me was the games story; it centres around the plot of
(which ever one of) the Mercenaries characters getting shot in the ass
by someone who betrayed him/her and is about revenge. I thought it
would have been a funny plot, but the joke just doesn’t work, none of
the dialogue is memorable, nor is my bothering to tell you the rest of
the lame plot. I mean, just go buy Bad Company if you want to blow
something up. It is a better alternitive. Or even go and fork over €60
for a second hand PS2 and Mercenaries and have a ball. Why not get GTA
San Andreas while you’re at it….



The Verdict- THIS REVIEW SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, I’m totally disgusted with
this game, and I feel ripped off by EA once more.
“EA! theres a ticked off gamer here!”



The number game:

Graphics- 3
Gameplay- 4
Sound Design- 7
Plot/Story- 2
Replayability- 7

Score- 4.6



Final Words- I’m not proud to admit this, but this game contains a fun
co-op online multiplayer in which the entire game can be played
together with another Mercenaries 2 owner, especially fun with a
friend. Possibly the best feature of the game.



Author Note- This review is entirely my opinion and I have been
completely fair in my scoring and have tried to keep a balance to it.
However, even though my review was un-biazed by the corporate media,
and I have been completely honest in my opinion there will ofcourse be
those who do not share my opinions. That is the trait of we humans, to
make our own decisions on things. Thus I urge you to try Mercenaries
2, do not rely justly on my thoughts.

Happy Gaming!!

-Jedireaper

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'Keeping good Company with a Bad crowd'



Hello endearing fans and welcome to Bad Company… Or is it really good
company if you are a criminal? I’ll never know. Anyway; Rainbow Six, a
glorifyed SWAT team- uh sorry; Bad Company a company of only four soldiers
that have commited some crimes, and are instead of being sent to prison
transferred into outfit. And also welcome back to Bobfish and myself
after our very very very (well, my) very log hiatus. Log hiatus? I mean Long
hitus, uh a log hit us, uhm, no! A LONG HIATUS…. Problems with family, and
general low-ness of funds pertain to my lack of reviewing top-line and
new-released games, besides Killzone 2 which I hope to review as soon as I
get my PS3 joypad back to play the singleplayer, instead of slugging away on
online games.



Anyway lets get back to what you came here for; Rainbow Six Vegas. Gah not
again- Battlefield: Bad Company.



This is another excellent entrence, both stylisticly, and humourously, into
the Battlefield series. And the first, as I am aware, to contain an actual
character driven storyline. Anyway, I am going to keep this review short and
as sweet as possible until I get used to writing reviews again. So here is
all the important stuff.



Battlefield Bad Company puts you in the clean smelling (I wonder if he
uses air freshner) boots of Preston Marlow, or is that Marlow Preston,
I’ve never quite figured it out. Anyway you are embodied within this
character who has commited a crime, though none are mentioned
specifically, which has always left me wondering what Preston did to
get this piss-end of nowhere assignment to B company. Anyway, there
are three other members of Marlows’ squad; Sarge, (one bad ass talkin’
mo-fo!) their leader; Sweetwater, the geeky glasses guy (you always
NEED one in squads to make fun of); and lastly Haggard, the demonic
creature that can turn into a dragon and burn everything in sight, and
is the whole idea behind the gold, wait… Demonic creature? Oops I
mean the explosives NUTT JOB who is the one who begins the whole mess
with the gold by finding some on the body of the Mercenaries they had
been fighting in the first mission.



The narrative through-out the extremely solid plot, yet hilariously
out proportioned by the characters themselved; is steady, humourous,
and above all else- straight out crazy; just what you would expect
from a platoon of Murdoch’s from the A-team. Besides some of the
animation, especially during the beginning and the end of a mission
are very well animated, with Haggard, and Sweetwater playing Rock
Paper Scissors with ICBM’s in the background in one scene. Top class! As
this is from Electronic Arts, I have in recent years lost a hell of a
lot of weight… uh… confidence in the company especially after four
god awful Bond Games, many rushed and underwhelming Soccer games, and
blatant boring titles, I had almost given up. Then this rears its
pretty head along with the excellent Burnout Paradise (expect review
soon) and ‘wow!’ the brilliance of EA is back, and apart from a half
arsed effort by Pandemic for Mercenaries, is better than ever.



The Graphics on BC are extremely good and does the job that the game
was designed for. The DICE engine that powers the game is
exceptionally good with creating realism to explosions, especially
their sounds when they are far away. The sound is delayed and arrives
like a thunder clap! Pretty ace. And the character detail is rather
good which leads me to believe that a lot of work went into designing
the protagonists. The fine detail on the soldiers uniforms is pretty
well rendered. And the gameplay, while at first is no Call of Zombies:
Nach der Untoten; it is certainly second nature and pretty easyto
grasp after a few missions.



My favorite weapon was this computer thingy that could call in
artillery strikes on ememy positions. Ha! Bombed by their own people.
The vehical combat, especially when tanks are involved, is totally
worth the game alone, which also boasts semi-destructable
environments.



Verdict: Pick up this game for a huge laugh at the stupid humor and
compelling story and with a very decent online mode too, if you
haven’t played the demo yet; you’ve missed so much already. Only
deterrance is the crack shot enemy NPC’s especially on the harder
difficulities. Definately worth getting for all those trophies. And
the one that made me laugh was a trophy for knocking down a load of
trees in a helicopter. I totally didn’t know I’d get it, but those
trees…. those horribly evil; helicopter destroying trees. *yawn* All
in all; a damn good ride. And with lovable characters you can’t go
wrong. Roll on Bad Company 2. Ho-rah!!



The Score:

Graphics- 7.5 (pretty damn good!)
Gameplay- 8
Sound Design- 8.5 (blam! boooshk!)
Plot/Story- 8 (oh so funny, you capatalist Pigs!)
Replayability- 8 (getting all the gold is fun!)

Final Score- 8 (Bronze Award)

Turned out the review wasn’t the ‘bare necessities’ hahaha!

-Your friendly neighbourhood Jedireaper.

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Unfortunately, whilst the Reaper and I were expecting that the post New Year period would bring with it the opportunity to kick back a little and come back to some more important thins (like playing games, writing reviews, watching 80s TV shows and eating cake) we have actually found ourselves more distracted than ever.  However, fear not, for we have not been idle.  All of those reviews, and more, that werepromised way back when in the middle of December will soon be upon us.

We have also now requistioned a reliable X-Box 360 spokesperson.  My fabulous new girlfriend Lissa, who is one of the primary reasons I personally have been so…distracted of late.  So, thankfully, the rather weighted bias towards the Wii and Playstation 3 will be gradually offset as we move to a more balanced approach to review publication.  Hopefully, we should soon be in a position to get one from each of the current primary platforms each week.  That being Playstation 3, Wii, X-Box 360 and PC.  As well as a spattering of others here and there such as downloaded games and the odd retro classic.

And, finally, the Reaper, my amazing new girlfriend and I have been working on a seperate internet venture that will see distribution, hopefully, some time before the end of next week.  A twelve part Star Wars audio comedy/drama that we believe many of our loyal readers (hoping that we actually have some) will find to be at least moderately entertaining.  Also, next week should hopefully see a return to posting as I have both a Wii and PC title to air my views on.  The PC game I have choen should prove to be most interesting as it is something which has devided a great many gamers for a number of years now.

Keep your eyes peeled everyone.  There are good things to come very soon.

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Well, our regular subscribers will have surely noticed that it’s been a little quiet in GR land the past few weeks.  But fear not, we have not forgotten you, our loyal minions of return minionness.  It5’s gotten back to that time of year when everyone, even we, your review writing lords, have a lot to deal with.

At present, our duties consist of :

1) Shouting at the TV

2) Shouting at each other

3) Shouting at ourselves

4) Eating cake

And E) Sleeping in the garden

However, come the other side of the new year, bot the Reaper and I will return with an impressive line up of both new and old games for you to sink your teeth into.  I don’t want to go into too much detail about our little secret project, but I can assure you it is something on a scale not previously considered.  Something that has been made possible only now through the keen application of Ebay, an old CRT Television and a lama called Steve.

We will also be briinging you Fallout 3 for both Playstation 3 and PC, Siren Blood Curse, Rainbow Six Vegas and several more titles that you may still be uhming and ahhing about that we can, perchance, inform you correctly about.  Both the good and the bad aspects.  Watch this space my loyal minions, thine faith shall be rewarded.

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