2008
Baroque, an irregular and underrated pearl
By: The Almighty Bofish Category: Baroque, Wii
ORIGINALLY RELEASED SOME time ago for the SEGA Saturn, Baroque is an almost universally unknown game. Destined to be one of those forgotten, ignored gems of a bygone age (of gaming) until, for whatever reason, Rising Star decided a port to the Wii would be a good idea. This is not the first time that Baroque has been resurrected from beyond the pale either. A stint on the Playstation 2 bridges the span of the last decade and brings us to last year. I must confess, I’m not entirely sure why or how Baroque made it onto the Wii. Though I’ve been told it enjoyed no small success in Japan, the sales across the rest of the world have been less than inspiring. However, I’m glad that it did because it’s an extremely underrated game.
Unlike most traditional RPGs, the bulk of the game takes place in one, randomly generated, series of “dungeons” which make up something called the Neuro Tower. Whilst the plot is revealed in a rather unconventional and mostly non-linear fashion through a series of, seemingly, random encounters and actions that you, the unnamed hero, will make along the way. The specifics of what you have to do for the main plot are explained pretty much right from the off. But the rest of it requires no small amount mental leg work and a lot of trial and error.
The random, and at times utterly chaotic, nature of the game is likely to put off a lot of potential fans. At least initially. But give it a little time and everything starts to make a warped sort of sense. And the overall atmosphere of the game make it an absorbing and, to coin a word, baroque experience. In more ways than one. For those who don’t know, the word baroque has a number of meanings, and several of them are applicable in this case. Most notably in the meanings of irregularity and being so extremely extravagant as to be in bad taste. Both of which the game has in deliberate bucketloads.
The bizarre, twisted nature of the landscape and the various characters you will interact with are enough to give even our good friend Mister Burton a run for his money. Serving as a stark contrast to the “normal” characters you will also meet. And whilst the visuals themselves are rendered in standard definition, as is the norm with the Wii, this in no way diminishes their impact. It would be inappropriate to describe the game as beautiful, but the quality of the sprites would certainly earn it the badge of stunning. In a warped, gothic (or perhaps baroque) kind of way.
The game itself plays in a pretty straightforward fashion. Much like any other dungeon crawler you move from one level to the next, working your way down to the bottom of the Neuro Tower where you have two options which will affect how the game ends. Though, it never actually does end as such. Yes, you can finish off the story, and all of the sub plots, but as the levels are generated randomly each time you enter you can return time and time again. But be aware, each time you finish a dungeon (either by reaching the bottom or through death) you will be returned to town with your character reset to default.
Kind of.
It’s not quite that simple. As you will discover, there are certain methods to get around this to a certain extent. Although there is no way (at least, none that I have found) to retain your level and experience, it is possible to carry across other things such as items and brands (which can be used to enhance yourself or your equipment) via the use of the consciousness orbs. This does, however, require you to manually chuck them in and thus lose the use of them at that time. Also, you must do this each time you enter the tower as they do not carry across from one visit to the next once you have retrieved them.
All in all it’s quite an odd game, and is unlikely to ever garner any significant popularity. Which is a shame because it’s so radically different from just about everything. I personally found it to be a very refreshing change. Something that was both familiar and unique at the same time. There are enough aspects there to appeal to fans of games such as Baldurs Gate, as well as a large dose of style for those of us who are less interested in the particulars than the overall feel, but still a great deal of substance for the deep thinkers. There’s even the option of playing the game in first person to appeal to FPS fans, though that is admittedly a bit of a stretch as the main focus of the combat is on melee.
Graphics 8.5/10
Gameplay 8/10
Audio/music 9/10
Plot/Scripting 9/10
Overall 9/10
2008

Order Up! for Wii
By: Charlie Jones Category: Games, Order Up!, Wii
When a buddy showed up with this game, I wasn’t really interested. Cooking is not my thing – and virtual food isn’t even edible. But I thought I’d give it a try anyway, and the results were surprisingly not bad. It’s not game of the year by any means, but does provide for some entertaining game-play in the faux restauranteer world.
The scenario: you’re an unproven new chef in the small town of “Port Abello” (yuk, yuk), with high hopes of rising up the culinary ranks to become a real somebody. You purchase a local diner, and ready to unleash your blossoming talent onto the palettes of the local town-folk.
As you may have gathered, the main game-play component of Order Up! involves food preparation – you’ll need to slice, dice, fry, grill, and more all with accuracy to receive a good score. It’s not overly difficult, but does take some getting used to, and is satisfying to conquer. You’ll also need to keep your patrons happy, and can use the points earned doing so to upgrade your restaurant, hire new help, buy additional recipes and purchase spices.
As you do this successfully, you’ll earn a higher rating and have the opportunity to purchase a more advanced eatery. Rising all the way from a little greasy spoon to a fine dining establishment.
I found myself getting into a comfortable and enjoyable rhythm. And in true form you’ll notice, as with most Nintendo Wii Games, that their amusing characters and fun cartoonish visuals make the game-play all the more appealing. However, take note that Order Up! is a rather short offering, as we sat down in the late afternoon and had it finished before midnight. Besides that point, even if you’re not the cook in the family, you might be as surprised by this one as I was.
2008
No More Heroes – Bizarre and Touching
By: Elof Coulsen Category: No More HeroesSTRAP YOURSELVES IN and keep your hands close to your posterior, because No More Heroes is unarguably one of the most bizarre games ever produced. You save the game by going to the toilet. And that’s pretty tame compared to most of the stuff you have to do. Never mind the fact that our erstwhile (anti)hero Travis Touchdown is some odd mixture of an Elvis clone and the campest Anime fanatic this side of Dusseldorf, because even that fades into the background before the first cinematic has finished rolling.
Though, I assume for legal reasons, Ebay was not named directly, it’s pretty clear that Mister Touchdown purchased his first “Beam Katana” (aka Lightsabre) from one of their innumerate auctions. And after getting very drunk and meeting a painfully French young woman in a pub one night, he randomly decides to take her up on her job offer of killing off the top ten assassin’s in the world so that he can become number one. Again, this is rather odd. Because you have to pay an increasingly high amount of money (LB) for the right to challenge the next one up the ladder. And surely the point of having a job is to receive payment. Not to make payment?
Regardless. Along the way you will find yourself engaging in a number of part time jobs such as lawn mowing, pumping gas, finding lost kittens and throwing yourself off the pier on your bike (which earns you a higher wage the farther out to sea you manage to propel yourself). However, having said all this, there are some surprisingly serious, and quite touching moments along the way as well. Like Travis’ complete aversion to killing women. No matter how deranged and deserving they may be. And believe me, he meets some truly warped individuals on his travels.
Add to this some unexpected, but blindingly obvious, plot twists along the way and you have yourself a great game. There are also a number of unlockable costume changes split into the areas of Sunglasses, jacket, T-shirt, trousers (pants to our American cousins) and belt. And a series of fifty Wrestling cards to collect during the ten ranked fights. As well as a series of Lovikov balls which are used to exchange for extra abilities. All of which add to the replay value of the game as you spend your time searching for everything. And lets not forget the masterful application of cell shading which makes this one of the best looking games across of the current platforms. Granted, it may not have the overly polished look of the current high definition craze, but this in no way diminishes it’s charm.
The main storyline is, admittedly, rather short. Keeping you going for only a couple of days on your first play through, and then little more than six or seven hours in subsequent attempts. Though after the first completion there is the option of a higher difficulty level which adds a little extra challenge. And the quality of scripting makes the game thoroughly enjoyable even after multiple re-plays. And don’t forget, once the game is finished you have the ending. And the real ending. The latter of which being a bit of a bugger, but well worth the extra headache to complete it. The ending cinematic alone is worth the hassle. Not to mention the satisfaction of actually doing it.
In closing. No More Heroes is an engaging, thought provoking and surprisingly touching, thought thoroughly bizarre game. Well worth a look, and a fine addition to any collection. Seriously, it’s one of those rare games I would advise buying a console for, something which I have only done on two other occasion’s. Try it. It will not disappoint. And don’t forget to watch the Genki Rockets.
Graphics : 9
Gameplay : 8.5
Audio/music : 8
Plot/scripting : 9
Overall : 9
2008

Shedding Some Light On “Alone In The Dark”
By: Elof Coulsen Category: Alone In The Dark, Games, Wii
A little over fifteen years ago (in 1992 to be precise) an as then mostly unknown video-game company by the name of Infogrames invented what we would later come to know as the Survival-Horror games genre. Yes, that;s right, contrary to popular belief, Capcom were not the first to keep us on the edge of our seats and fighting for our lives against the worst that the realm on the supernatural has to offer us. To be honest, neither was Inforgrames. Games like Nightmare Circus had been around a lot longer. But in so far as the modern form of Survival-Horror is concerned, Infogrames are undeniably the largest influence.
According to even Capcom themselves, a lot of their inspirations for the Resident Evil series even came from those early Alone in the dark installments. Nine years later, when Alone in the dark resurfaced across the most current generation of games consoles (at the time) the favour was returned with Infogrames taking some inspiration back. Most notably in the form of the way we would control our erstwhile protagonist, Mister Edward Carnby.

Unfortunately, Alone in the dark : The new nightmare was far from the resounding success that was hoped for. Though, it obviously did well enough for the most recent offering, this time under the license of the parent company, Atari. And it could not have come at a better time. Atari have had a troubled history. Disappearing from the video-game world almost completely for a number of years, only finally returning with the, again disappointing, Enter the Matrix.
Common consensus seems to be that Atari are, once again, on the verge of collapse. At least, until Alone in the dark (2008) was released across all of the major platforms and the PC in the early stages of the year. I can’t speak for the “next gen” or PC release of the game as the Wii version has some differences in gameplay to reflect both the unique control system and simple logistics of the console. Much like most of the cross platform games in recent times. However, the Wii version of the game is in now way diminished by this.

It’s a solidly built, and thoroughly enjoyable game. Graphically it wouldn’t be put up as the poster child for Nintendo, it’s far from being a game that pushes the Wii’s capabilities to their limit, but it’s still a very pretty game in a lot of ways. The animation of some of the characters, most notably Carnby himself, are a little clumsy, but the overall impression is nothing to be scoffed at. The breadth of expression on the various people you come across along the way is truly a marvel to behold. You can almost forget that they’re animations, even given the waxy look of their skin. Their faces move like you would really expect of a real person.
The control system is simple and responsive, allowing you both a first and third person perspective to play through in most areas apart from some narrow sections of the game (limited to first person) and the climbing sections (limited to third). Even whilst in the driving sections of the game you have the choice between the two. Which is most decidedly a good thing as this is the one area where the game falls decidedly short. Some of the physics involved in the car sections would cause even Rockstar to have a few giggles, and we all know how silly some of their collision physics can be.

Fortunately, the strength of the rest of the game is enough that we can put up with the aggravation and persevere. Well, that and the fact that, with the game being split split into a series of ten, each split into three or four specific sections, chapters that are available to select right from the beginning, you can skip forward past any sections that you may be struggling with. Quite an interesting idea, though not one I chose to make use of myself. At least, not during the first play through. But it certainly has it’s uses for when you want to nip back to a certain stage of the game that you liked, or to show your friends or suchlike.
I feel I should warn you however, the game is a little short. Not likely to keep you entertained for much longer than four or five days on the first play through. But it’s entertaining enough that it wouldn’t take much convincing to go back and play through again. Though, unfortunately, there are no trailers or alternate costumes and suchlike to unlock so replay value comes solely in the strength of the game itself. But the game is not a significantly difficult one to play, with the primary challenge being reserved for the puzzle sections rather than a focus on intense action.

An all around good game. Suitable for both casual and hard core gamers alike, Alone in the dark is a good game to keep you happy for a while, and since it finishes on perhaps the most dramatic cliffhanger I’ve yet seen, you will certainly be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter. Also, from what I understand, you could check out the “next gen” version for a more intense gaming experience. Or purely for the pleasure of comparing the differences between the two.
Graphics : 8
Gameplay : 8
Audio/music : 8
Plot/scripting : 9
Overall : 8.5
2008
Iron Man (Wii) Review
By: Elof Coulsen Category: Iron Man, Wii
Twenty-odd years ago I used to collect the weekly Transformers comic (UK run, not US), and at first, I paid very little attention to the second strip they were also running in the second half of the comics. It was called Action Force, and as I’m sure you know, it chronicled the adventures of an elite military group or…something. I wasn’t really much of a fan, but I did start reading it one day when I was bored and realised it’s actually a pretty decent comic.
Some time later, they decided to scrap the Action Force stories and started running Iron Man instead. And I was a bit miffed to be honest, because I was starting to get into it by then. But what the hey, I started reading Iron Man. It was there, so why not right? And I was hooked instantly. Action Force rapidly becoming an unimportant memory for me.
Unfortunately, a few years later, Iron Man also stopped appearing in the Transformers comics, in favour of having two Transformers stories running in tandem. And, at the time, I didn’t know anything about comic book stores. All I knew was about getting them from the local newsagents. Yeah you’re right, I lead a rather sheltered life in those days. But hey, I was only five, cut me some slack.
Now, fast forward twenty-some years and we’re back in 2008. And for the first time we see the insufferable, and utterly irresistible Tony Stark making his big screen debut. So, of course, next comes the slew of Iron Man video-games, across every console we know of, and probably a bajillion or so others that we know nothing about it. So, the question becomes, after twenty-whatever years, was it worth the wait?
Well, the film was great. Even my three year old daughter loved every minute of it. But that’s a story for another time. And website.
I can’t comment on the, so-called, next generation variants, but the Wii game lived up to just about everything I could have wanted. Graphically speaking it was an amazing thing to behold. Pushing the Wii to, and perhaps even beyond, it’s perceived limits, and yet not showing any strain. Though, on a few rare occasions, the game did freeze up on me and I had to restart the console. Which was frustrating, but it’s happened on other games as well so I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. It could just as easily have been a scratch or smudge on the disc.
The interesting thing was that, unlike almost every other Marvel game (seemingly) ever made, Activision had nothing to do with this one. For whatever reason, this time the rights went to SEGA. Something which did throw up a certain amount of concern after my recent experiences with a certain other game which you can find reviewed (by me) further back in the Wii section of this very website.
However, a twenty-or-so year wait was impetus enough for me to put my reservations on the back burner and hope for the best. And I was certainly not disappointed. From the opening cinematic to the climactic showdown with the Iron Monger, I was completely hooked. The control system was simple and effective (though whoever thought it would be a good idea to have the wii-mote control both camera and punching could do with a few stiff words) and there were some rather inventive game mechanics to firmly elevate this long overdue game way above the shameless cash-in level.
For example, via use of the thumb pad on the wii-mote you can alter the priority of the systems of your Iron Man suit. By default, each of the three sub-systems (Propulsion, Armour and Weapons) is set to a maximised level. Each taking an equal share of your power supply. But with the press of a button you can overcharge your propulsion system to fly faster and use your entire suit as a weapon, smashing into and through most enemies. Overcharge your armour so it can sustain more damage for longer. Or activate the Uni-beam in the armours chest plate. A weapon which takes some time to charge, but is absolutely devastating. And, of course, you can revert everything back to its default level.
Also, as your progress through the game you earn upgrades to the armour itself, the weapons systems (of which there are three. A rail gun, missiles and the repulsors in your palms) and unlock new skills such as Iron Mans infamous ground breaking (in the literal sense of breaking the ground) shock-wave punch, as well as a collection of other Iron Man suits. Notable, the War Machine skin is lacking from the game, which was mildly disappointing, but easy enough to let slide taking into consideration the overall quality of the game.
We even have some of the cast from the film returning to add their voices to the game. Including Tony Stark himself, Robert Downey Jr. Though, for whatever reason, he was only used for the voice of Stark in the cinematics whilst the in-game voice work was not. An odd decision, but not a major concern.
In closing, the only real disappointment with the game came in the fact that it took place over a series of linear levels. After seeing the way Spider-Man has been opened up as a free roaming, mission lead environment by Activision, this was mildly disappointing, but again, not a major issue. Other than that, this was a nice return to form for SEGA and we should look forward to any future Iron Man installments.
Graphics 9/10
Gameplay 9/10
Audio/music 9/10
Plot/Scripting 9.5/10
Overall 9.5/10




















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