2010
Skating on Occom’s Razor
By: The Almighty Bobfish Category: Mirror's Edge, xBox360
Mirror’s Edge Is an FPS game with less shooting and more exploring. In fact, you’ll find yourself climbing buildings and doing hard jumps. Think of it as a first person Prince of Persia.
The main story is rather short, but it’s still a challenge. The Time Trials, on the other hand, have variable difficulty, depending whether you just want to clear them or get the highest rank.
It is fairly easy to complete the trials under the qualifying time, but it will take every ounce of your skill to get the maximum score.
Even if it’s an old game, it’s worth buying it!
2010
Am I A.Wake?
By: The Almighty Bobfish Category: Alan Wake, Arses, xBox360
WHEN WE FIRST started hearing about this game back in 2005 I was seriously stoked. The in game screenshots, which we were assured without any shadow of a doubt, were generated by the fully functioning, in game engine…they were breathtaking. Lush vegetation, crystal clear water, intense sunlight streaming in through the vibrant pine tree’s. And then it dropped off the face of the Earth for three years. Leaving us all gobsmacked and demanding, craving more.
Finally, an update arrived, and it was most decidedly not to our liking. The promised open world, entirely none linear aspect had been removed in favour of episodic plot progression. However, it still looked amazing, and considering that a lot of the open world games do tend to drag on a wee bit, the turn towards episodic play wasn’t really a major issue. Sure, it would have been nice to be able to just wander around the Bright Falls area at your leisure, but not so much that it really put a dent into our fervour for what was shaping up, and promised, to be possibly one of the best psychological thrillers in video gaming. Right up until the rumours were confirmed. Alan Wake was going to be X-Box only. And that’s about the point when the game died for all of us.
Suddenly the massive delay and the shift to linear gameplay made a lot more sense. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticising the X-Box for what it is. I’m not particularly a fan of the console any more than I am of the Playstation 3 (I like the Wii so ner), but I’m not about to start the whole elitist argument back up again. The X-Box simply is not as powerful as a PC. That’s not an insult, it’s as true as saying a PC is more powerful than a pocket watch. It has it’s limitations, and as PC components continue to improve, each console falls slowly behind. It’s the nature of the industry. But each console has it’s strengths and weaknesses. And whilst all of them are capable of open world environments, none of them are capable of generating one so lush and detailed as Alan Wake was promising to be. No, that wasn’t the problem.
The problem became apparent as more information was released. Even a year before the game was finished, we were already “assured” that there would be downloadable expansions…yeah. And then came the actual footage. This beautiful, lush, vibrantly alive environment we had seen in early pictures and footage was replaced with a pretty bog standard mistfest. Yes, the use of colour is still powerful, and the streaming light has been done extremely well in some places, but the draw distance is down to about six inches, and during the night time sections (the majority of the game) everything is just drab and grey. Long story short, this game sucks. The plot is contrived and about as predictable as a brick to the face. The characters are wooden and lifeless (with the exception of Barry, he’s actually fairly well developed, and Sarah, though she still suffers from being uninteresting, at least she’s believably uninteresting) and the voice acting is horrendous. Hey, and don’t even get me started on the lip syncing, or rather complete lack thereof. Alan, when speaking, spends most of his time looking like a wasp is stinging the back of his eyeball with a pogo stick.
The original premise really sucked me in when I first heard about it. A writer visiting a small town and having odd dreams that were starting to affect reality around him. I’m a writer myself, as evidenced by this review, but not just that. I’ve written newsletters, poems, short stories and even a full length novel that I completed in April of this year. Writing is something I am extremely passionate about. A large part of who I am. I see things through the perspective of what they could be, rather than what they are. And I have had dreams so vivid, so real, that I am sometimes unsure if a conversation or event took place, or whether it was just a dream. I don’t know, perhaps I’m just crazy. Am I A.Wake? And yeah, about that. What happened to the whole dream idea? They keep saying there was the is he/isn’t he thing going on…but if it was, I sure as hell didn’t see it.
Gods! They turned the game into Alone in the bloody Dark, but made it boring. Frankly, Remedy dropped the ball with this one. I can’t think of any better way of describing it than, dude, this game sucks (I feel so much like Linkara right now, lolz). The animations are fairly fluid, I’ll give them that, but the bloody camera pissed me off something chronic. With a click of the right stick you can shift it from one shoulder to the other. Apart from when I actually wanted it. It kept trying to bludgeon me into having the camera on the left, which is fine apart from when there are a hoard of taken coming round a corner to my RIGHT. Why give us an option to change, if it doesn’t work? I, seriously, had it flick back for no reason no less than fifteen times in two minutes.
You know, I’m going to stop here, otherwise I’ll be at this for hours. I don’t like the game. It’s dull, it’s overly stylised (less time making me watch the hoard of enemies descending on me, more time letting me run the f**k away) and it seriously drags. Far from having a deep, engaging, thrilling exploration of the Human psyche, we had a slew of clichéd dialogue and overly dramatic action sequences. Though, admittedly, facing down an army of Taken on a fully functioning stage with Ozzy Osbourne crooning out Children of the Elder God was pretty damned awesome. And, actually, that’s one thing the game did do well. The ONLY thing it did well. The soundtrack is outstanding. Not just the track list, but the in game music as well. It set a very good atmosphere on its own and wasn’t gratuitous like most games these days.
Graphics: 8/10
Gameplay: 5/10
Audio/Music: 9/10
Plot/Scripting: 5/10
Overall: 4/10
Closing thoughts : Just save your money.
Pretentiousness: 9.5/10
Contrivance: 10/10
Self Indulgence: 13/10
Waste of money: 100%
2010
Tenchu Z..zzzzzz
By: The Almighty Bobfish Category: Tenchu, Z, xBox360
THIS IS NOT a good game.
That’s right. No beating around the bush, no self indulgent discourse leading up to my ultimate conclusion. This one just plain clunks. However, let it also be noted that I am not saying this is a bad game either. The best description I can give, in a one word adjective, is disappointing. The Tenchu series as a whole has been a little scattershot over the years. The first was a real pain in the arse at times, but solid enough that it served as a good proof of concept. The second is still, in my opinion, the pinacle of the series. Wrath of Heaven took a few new turns with the gameplay mechanics, based on the new generation of consoles, some good, some not so good. The DS game worked far better than I’d expected. Z…not so much.
Initially I was optimistic. The fact that you create your own character rather than going back to Rikimaru and Ayame yet again was a bit of a sticking point for some people, but it does make sense within the confines of the Tenchu story. Rikimaru is a little long in the tooth these days. And whilst I’m sure he’s still just as lethal as ever, he is still well into his fourth decade, if not older, and has a lot of responsibilities as the head of the Azuma Ninja. As evidenced by the fact that you speak to him in the ninja village as a means of choosing your next mission.
The missions themselves are decent enough. A lot of regurgitated environments, and even a lot of missions that are carbon copies of each other. And, of course, yet again, Echigoya suffers the bite of your vengeful blade. That poor chap has been assassinated in every single one of the games (I think) for nothing more serious than being a greedy little bugger. Okay, he’s a self-serving little so and so, but him and a bajillion other generic merchants. What, exactly, does the Azuma ninja clan have against the poor fellow that they feel the need to continually kill him to death? Is once not enough? I mean, in Heaven, Rikimaru even comments on the fact he went back to kill Echigoya because he…already did it in the first game? WHAT THE HELL?!? But anyway. Repetitive, sort of. The fact that the environments are reused, some of them upwards of five times each, does have a positive effect in that the game is longer than previous instalments. A whopping fifty missions to work through, rather than the usual ten or twelve. Granted, there was some extra play value in previous titles by having different characters, but this is fifty missions all for one person. And you can customise your ninja with a variety of extra clothing options and skills you unlock along the way.
Overall, it’s not going down in the annals of Tenchu history any time soon. Likely to be one of those that slides into obscurity as the dirty little secret of the franchise. Which has not too surprisingly seen a steep decline in popularity since Z was released in 2007. However, the strength of the DS game and the recent Tenchu 4 on the Wii (which see’s the return of Ayame with a stealth kill animation that consists of repeatedly kicking a guy in the nuts) I can see it climbing back up over the three years to follow. For Tenchu fans, this isn’t really a must have. Though it’s interesting enough, and does begin to show signs of a compelling story developing towards the end, but it’s nothing majorly important that you will miss. And it’s unfortunate to note that the games strongest point is the ease at which the full 1000gs can be achieved. Probably not much more than three or four days if you knuckle down to it. It took me about a week to do, but I wasn’t really fixed in, and spent time doing quite a lot of other things as well.
All in all, a disappointing buy. I’m glad I waited so long and picked it up in a bargain bin. Though, calling it a bargain, even at a measly seven pounds, is something of a stretch. Though the fact you could sheath your sword at any time, grab people from behind and drag them away into a dark corner was a very nice touch for me. That is something I hope very much will carry over into future titles. But, dude, hopefully on a game that doesn’t look like it was ported from the Playstation 2 this time.
Graphics: 6/10
Gameplay: 7/10
Audio/Music: 8/10
Plot/Scripting: 7/10
Overall: 6/10
2010
ConViction
By: L, The Almighty Bobfish Category: ConViction, Splinter Cell, xBox360
A long time in the coming, and subject to at least two complete reinventions to my knowledge, Sam Fisher has finally returned to our home entertainment systems to continue, and add some much needed perspective, to the events of Splinter Cell Double Agent. In my previous review I touched on the closing levels of the previous instalment being somewhat confusing, with the sudden introduction of new Director Tom Reed coming, literally, completely out on nowhere. But more so than that, Sam is suddenly rogue without any obvious explanation why. Something which frustrated many people, though was explained to a certain extent within the latter version of the game that I also mentioned. And now, to my great relief if no-one else, Splinter Cell ConViction does, indeed, bring with it a great deal of exposition.
It transpires that Sam went under so deeply that only his direct team at Third Echelon, that being Lambert, Anna Grimsdottir (who does return too, but more on that later) and possibly one or two other, unnamed plebs within the organisation. Possibly his handler, Cohen, who featured in the first three games, but seems to have been completely forgotten about now. The point is, Sam’s actions, to the world at large and even the rest of the NSA, appear to be inspired by nothing more than his own selfish ends. And Tom Reed, taking over from Lambert after he is captured skulking around the JBA headquarters looking for Sam, has taken it upon himself to bring in this dangerous, loose cannon. But, of course, this is Tom Clancy, so it isn’t even that simple.
I don’t want to go too much into the plot points, because this game shows a lot of Clancy’s signature twists and turns. Where the previous titles have been fairly straight forward espionage thrillers, with nothing truely staggering in the way of big reveals. ConViction, on the other hand, has some really quite staggering turn arounds. Not least of which being that Sarah is still alive. Though, to be honest, I always suspected that from the way the death sequence was handled. Still, it’s done well, and backed up with solid reasons for why it was done both within the confines of the story, and for the sake of the story, if you understand the distinction. But there are more along the way, especially focused around Grim, who not only returns, but is, for the first time, seen face to face and not just as a voice whispering in Sam’s ear. And let me just say, she is every bit as hot as we were expecting. But that’s a side issue and has no real bearing over her as a character.
The game itself takes place in a similar fashion to the low definition version of Double Agent, with each level starting and ending with a voice over and some degree of exposition from a friend of Sam’s called Victor Coste. Though the actual levels themselves are all, barring one, from the point of view of Sam himself. And right from the very opening we are shown that, at some point, said to be seventy-two hours later (which yes, does mean that the game covers a period of only three days, another change from the usual flow) Grim will take a gun to Sam and shoot him. I’ve heard some people claim that this is poorly handled, and far from building suspense, actual spoils it. But I disagree. It left me wondering what the hell was going on, and why Grim had changed so much. The final explanation came somewhat out of left field, though admittedly in a kind of predictable way, but not in a bad sense. And I, personally, found it to be edifying because what I was hoping and expecting to see happen more or less panned out the way I wanted it to. But, again, I don’t want to give away key points so we will leave it with that.
The gameplay itself is a very large break from the style we have come to know and love. And, personally, I think the game does suffer somewhat for it. However, as far as it goes, what Ubi have done, they have done very well, and I feel that they ultimately got exactly what they were aiming for. However, what I have seen from some of their original ideas, including pre-beta gameplay footage that should still be knocking around on YouTube, I think would have been an almost perfect blend of the original stealth action aspect, and the newer, Sam as an angry killing machine. Still, within the confines of the story, and based on the general opinion of the average end user, I can appreciate exactly why they chose to emphasis the action side of things so much. The gloves really have come off, and Sam is no longer constrained by even the faintest hint of morality anymore. He is angry about the death of his daughter, and as a Father I can truely empathise. This is a much more personal story, and Sam is out for blood. The stealth aspects, thankfully, are still there, and can still be utilised almost just as much, thought the lack of a move body option can be a bit of a pain in the arse at times, particularly during the first section of your infiltration of Third Echelon itself.
The engine, I do believe, is the UT2.5, which has been rendered gloriously. The colour pallet is a little dull, yes, but not completely washed out, going for a mid-tone pastels for the most part, including a very well done grain over the top of everything. And bizarrely enough, this is one of those rare occasions where things actually look better up close. Particularly facial animations. It seems that the grain used blurs a lot of the finer detail until it’s right there in your face, at which point you can pick out the individual threads on Sam’s jumper (sweatshirt for our Stateside cousins) and even the very well rendered freckles spattered across Grim’s cheeks and the nasty little cut that Sam has over his top lip. It is still curious that Ubi did not opt for the UT3 engine, but considering the outstanding job they did with the 2.5, I am certainly not going to hold that against them.
My largest complaint is that the campaign is entirely linear. Though it does allow some degree of exploration within the individual levels, such as alternate paths and the like, the events themselves follow sequentially, one from the other, no matter how you play the game. It is also fairly short, from start to finish taking only about eight to ten hours. A bit of a sticking point for me, but it does go some way to emphasising the breakneck pace and desperate urgency of Sam’s plight. However, there is a large amount of content for the co-op side of things, which can be accessed in it’s entirety either online or split-screen, a good move by Ubi. As well as the series of Persistent Elite Creation challeneges that can be completed in an of the available modes adding some degree of continued playability. And, for once, I did spend some amount of time on the online co-op. Taking the time to play through the full co-op campaign (a gruelling process, but very rewarding) and some of the other modes. All of which are enjoyable for their own reasons.
Overall, this game was well worth the sixty pounds I invested in pre-ordering the Collectors Edition, something which I have never done before, and I am entirely satisfied with the way it ultimately turned. No, it is not my ideal game ever, and there are some things I will lament losing from both the original games, and the initial plans that were discarded in favour of what was eventually released. And the wait…a full three years late, was excrutiating. It was very, very good to know that the wait was justified. But please, for the sake of my hair and fingernails, don’t make us wait that long for the next chapter. And make damn sure you tell us who or what the hell Megido is. As always, I urge you to draw your own conclusions, but ConViction comes with a very heavy recommendation from me.
Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 9/10
Audio/Music: 9/10
Plot/Scripting: 9.5/10
Overall: 9.5/10
2010
Splinter Cell : Double Agent aka Sam is not a very nice man
By: The Almighty Bobfish Category: Double Agent, Splinter Cell, xBox360
“Prison. A hell of a place to save a mans life.”
Whilst on a, for Sam, simple and straightforward intelligence gathering assignment in Iceland. So simple, in fact, that Sam even has a rookie along for the ride with him. Sam Fisher, the first and undeniably best field agent for the NSAs Third Echelon, is abruptly called back. His mission aborted and as his handler, direct superior and one of his oldest friends, Irving Lambert, tells him that his little girl, Sarah, barely even twenty-three years old, is dead. A hit and run. And just like that, Sams whole world is gone.
After this fairly large introductory level we are shown a rather poignant cinematic of Sam going completely off the rails. Drinking, fighting…well, intentionally letting people beat the crap out of him actually, and tentatively pulling himself together enough to accept the toughest job of his career. Direct, deep cover infiltration of a terrorist organization calling itself the John Brown Army. Headed by one Emile Dufrainse, who has some weird amalgamation of a thick Texan and broad Brooklyn accent. He does this by being sent to Ellseworth Penitentiary as an inmate to make contact with one of Dufraisne’s leftenants. A physically unassuming, but nasty son-of-a-bitch called Jamie Washington. Stripped of all his usual accessories, the first real level of the game has Sam relying entirely on his rather formidable skills.
From here we are introduced to the rest of the JBA and spend some time performing various tasks around their main compound. An environment which you will return to for a total of four excursions. Each time, apart from the last, being given a series of tasks from both Third Echelon and the JBA. It’s a fairly small environment, and each but the final of the four times you will visit it is timed. But it’s quite an interesting little place, with a multitude of different stair ways and ladders and corridors all leading into and branching from each other. And each of the four visits will take you to a different section of the base that the previous doesn’t, which does a very good job of preventing it from becoming repeetitive. The rest of the places you will visit, Kinshasa in particular, are massive, apart from the post credits level, which is only available based on choices you make at three key points in the game.
The story is as solid as any of the Splinter Cell games, and this, more than any other, Humanises Sam. Whilst in the previous title, Chaos Theory, we were shown the best qualities of his personality. Particularly his conversation with a near homicidal Korean General (”they aren’t anybodies men, they’re just men. Husbands, Fathers, sons”) and an optional section where you can rescue two unconcious pilots against direct instruction from Lambert. Double Agent reminds us that Sam is not a nice man. And the one thing in his life that kept him grounded, his little girl, is gone. Sam is pissed. He’s angry, and it shows. His actions and his overall tone is much darker. The way he speaks to people, some of the things he does, show a much more sadistic attitude. As a parent myself (I have a five year old daughter) I found myself empathising with him. Yes, his actions are cruel, much violent than needed, but there is a certain catharsis in punishing the world. Taking back some sense of reparation, however sparing.
Initially I actually played this game on the Wii, because that was the only platform from the current generation I was interested in. My Playstation 3 and X-Box didn’t come until later. But I learned some time later that there are actually two versions of the game, so I picked up this one as well. And I can personally attest that there are some massive differences between the two. For a start, the Wii, Gamecube and Playstation 2 game, which was developed after the initial release, takes place as a series of flashbacks and telephone calls between Sam and the new head of Third Echelon, Tom Reed. Whilst the X-Box, Playstation 3 and PC version is all in real time. It’s worth picking up both, because whilst the basic plot, and even some of the dialogue, is the same, the whole feel of the game, and the specific events, are radically different. The “low definition” version of the game also makes a little more sense. The end of the “high definition” version is very mcuh a “to be continued” moment, with a lot happening quite suddenly, and with almost no explanation. However, it’s pretty obvious from having played ConViction (but more on that later) that this is the start of, at the very least, a three part story. Not just a continuation of the Splinter Cell franchise, but an actual, sequential meta-plot, so to speak. Not just references to prior games, like the return of the Masse kernals and things like that.
The game is not without its flaws however. For some bizarre reason, Ubisoft opted for the UT2 engine, meaning that the game is, well, a little lacking graphically. Textures are flakey, and lots of things shine for no apparent reason at all. Yeah, I know, it’s nitpicking, and I personally don’t care too much about graphics. But when a radically weaker console is pulling out a much smoother, visually balanced version of the same game, then you know you’ve made a bit of a boo-boo. And don’t even get me started on the water. However, animations are extremely fluid, and not as slow and cumbersome as they once were. My largest complaint, I have to say, is the readdition of the interaction menu. For things like light switches, and computers and stuff like that, it’s useful for being able to differentiate one from another, so that you don’t accidentally set off an alarm when you just want to close a door. For trying to grab people you’ve sneaked up on…yeah, bit of a failing. The number of damned times I’ve failed to grab someone because the ruddy menu flicked off, or responded just that little bit too slowly so that they moved away. Not a good call there Ubi. Why they decided to put it back in now, after it being absent since the first chapter, is beyond me. Sometimes, y’all just baffle me.
Overall, however, this is another fine addition to one of the best video game series to date. The progression of Sams character from one title to the next never ceases to surprise, and believe me when I tell you ConViction adds even more. I missed having Grim whispering in my ear at times, but that’s mostly a personal bias. I like the character, and I have a bit of a soft spot for redheads. But, as always, I recommend you judge for yourself. These are just my impressions, and I’m an unashamed Splinter Cell fanboy.
Graphics: 7/10
Gameplay: 8.5/10
Audio/Music: 9/10
Plot/Scripting: 9/10
Overall: 9/10
Final note : Yes, this has indeed been a long time in the coming. There have been a number of factors in my real life that have had to take priority for a while. One of them, I am almost ashamed to admit, is that I have actually been too busy playing games to write about them. But I also have a little girl (as I said above) who takes up a large chunk of my time. And three weeks ago, I finally finished writing my very first, original novel. But I’ll talk more about that another time. For now, I’m just glad to be back.
Sam is a badass: 10/10
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