I’VE NEVER MADE any secret of my distaste for First Person Shooters. But at the same time, I feel that I’m liberal enough to offer then a fair hearing and give them a chance to win me over. On some occasions, this happens almost instantly (F.E.A.R). Other times they leave me wondering and start to grow on me (The Darkness). Sometimes they don’t grab me but I muddle through and see what happens (Halo). And sometimes they just leap right out at me and scream I SUCK! (Halo 3).

Which then, did Resistance fall into?

I have to say, and expect to be aggressively and mercilessly derided for doing so, that it fell rapidly into the latter. I honestly cannot fathom how it became such a major contender and why it has such a strong cadre of loyal followers. Graphically it was extremely poor, and not even the excuse of being an, effectively, launch title is enough to hide that fact. The textures…just don’t exist, and the animation is so clunky as to be beyond laughable. Leaping headfirst into the realms of SRSLY ZOMGWTFBBQ

And don’t even get me started on the massive mess the developers made of not only the topography (forgiveable for sake of game flow) but also the geography of England. If I’m not mistaken, Wales was listed as a bloody city. Just…wow! I cannot find the words to express the sheer sense of…wow!

The story, as far as it goes, is less than inspired as well. It borrows heavily from many other sources, and not incredibly effectively. The various pieces of intelligence scattered throughout the game make a valiant attempt to offer some depth to the events, but smack heavily of copious application of flange. Never a good thing. It was also extremely easy, though there is an extra difficult level unlocked that I haven’t explored. To be honest, I doubt I will, there just isn’t enough there to grab my attention.

At least is wasn’t a short game, as many shooters are. Though for a game with thirty “levels” it was decidedly shorter than you would expect. It took me probably twenty-five hours to play thorough, maybe a little more, and due to the layout of the game I can’t see it taking anything less than about eighteen even if you’re flying through. So I wonder, with a game so relatively large, how could Insomniac justify skimping out so much on everything else? I’m going to stop here because I really can’t find anything positive to add, and I don’t like to offer a stream of rhetoric. Suffice it to say that I firmly recommend against playing it. Though many others have found it to be an incredible buy. The decision remains with your good self.

Graphics: 6/10
Gameplay: 6/10
Audio/Music: 6/10
Plot/Scripting: 3/10
Overall: 4/10

Final note : It’s also worth mentioning the scene in the Manchester Cathedral. It troubles me when people create a stir over something like this on the grounds of…no, not violence, not disrespect for the house of the lord. But…zomg! Aliens in the house of God! Words cannot describe how banal that is.