NOW, MY DISTASTE for the Halo franchise is well known, but I think from my two previous reviews (Halo 2 being fairly positive) that I have proven my objectivity. Reviews are based on opinion however, and I feel no compunction to be diplomatic about my views on any matter. I mean, the whole purpose behind this website is to avoid the usual, finance based bias we have become so familiar with. But at the same time, I strive to balance out my personal fondness or distaste for the games I review to offer a more informed and structured dissection of whichever piece of digital goodness/foulness my brain is munching upon at the time.

And this brings us to the latest installment in the core Halo storyline. There are now, of course, at least two derivatives which have been produced to expand upon the setting (Halo ODST actually takes place between chapters 2 and 3 and, I believe covers the search for the Chief whilst he does whatever it is he did aboard that Covenant warship we see burning through the sky in Halo 3’s opening cinematic. Or was that the chief…or both of them, I think it was the ship and he came shooting off from it partway down, but I’ve been to sleep since then, and this parenthesis rant is growing stupidly large so, y’know, it takes place between them and leave it at that) with a third, Halo Reach, which we don’t know a great deal about as yet.

My initial impression of Halo 3 is that it was a highly polished, slick and extremely stylised game. A feeling that stuck with me the entire time. Unfortunately, I found almost nothing in the way of real substance to expand on this feeling as I progressed through the nine, decidedly short and, even on Legendary, primarily extremely unchallenging, levels. I know some people are pleased by a game that you can run through in only a few hours (about ten in total for the whole game on Legendary, no more than six on Normal), I, on the other hand, decidedly do not. There’s a line between a short and intense experience, and too short which Halo 3 leaped over at intense velocity.

The various cinematics and scripting events that unfolded offered little but an annoyance that they were dragging on so long. And the so-called plot twists just seemed pointless and rather daft. It seems to me that either they had a new writing department for this game considering how much they ran roughshod over the plot developments from Halo 2, or they were all on crack and thought that having a turtle eat beans for half an hour was a good idea. Either way, those things which actually made the second game work for me in a way I hadn’t anticipated, just vanished and were replaced with some random crap that left me with a serious…

..feeling.

Whilst I felt that the first game was generic and borrowed, or even out and out stole, from other games and films that had come before. And the second, whilst still pretty standard in gameplay, had some decent scripting. The third was pretty much just a bunch of fan appeasement as far as I could tell. Massive, intense battles, hoardes of enemies that you have to murder to a man to progress. I suppose I can see the appeal in some senses, driving through a cannon with a small fleet of Scorpions and Warthogs was fun, but a few well aimed shots and there was no opposition to speak of. And taking down to Scarab at a time single handed was kind of cool. But, dude, I did it single-handed. On Legendary! If the rest of the Human armed forces really is that sodding useless, and really couldn’t do anything at all without the Chief there, then they should have been wiped out in a matter of days.

But, of course, it’s not the single player that sold the game to seventeen million people. It’s the online experience which has brought people in their droves. And, for once, I actually spent some time trying this out. Mostly at the request of a very good friend of mine who spent several hours trouncing me repeatedly. Again, though, there is little for me to recommend with the online either. The ability to customise your avatar, either a Spartan or an Elite (the Arbiter) with extra items unlockable as you progress adds a little to raise it above a generic online shooter. But not by much. And certainly nothing that hasn’t been done before, and better. Rainbow Six Vegas had a great customisation to it. Halo 3 doesn’t.

Basically, Halo 3 is an enigma to me. I can’t understand how something that screwed up in so many ways can be so damned popular. I suspect it may have a great deal to do with the billion pound advertising campaign and the populace at large being so easily lead.

Graphics: 8.5/10
Gameplay: 6/10
Audio/Music: 6/10
Plot/Scripting: 5/10
Overall: 5/10

Halo 3 also earns a Special Award for being such a successful bluff.

WTF?!?ness : 9.5/10